Alyne Tamir

Who are you and what is your background?

Hi, my name is Elene Tamir. I go by Dear Elene on social media. I am a content creator and I was born and raised between Los Angeles with my Mormon mother and Israel with my Jewish father. I started out making videos about human rights, women's issues, travel, and now I do more lifestyle. And I'm currently creating content about being raised religious and leaving the church. And I wrote a book about it called Dear Alene. I love animals. I love travel. I've been to 98 countries. I love all rescue animals. I had a pet rescue fox. I fostered over 50 cats in one year. I've been vegetarian since I'm 12. I love the colour pink. My room looks like something pink exploded. And I am currently learning how to enjoy life offline. So I'm trying to do puzzles and learn how to spend more time alone because normally very social. So that's me.

What was the first moment you felt truly free after leaving the Church?

I think the first moment I felt truly free after leaving the church was when I was travelling and I was in Albania. That's the first country I went to because I was like, no one's going to know me there at the time. Most people don't speak English so I can live my own life. And I rented this little castle in a village and I was by myself. I rented a room in it. It was cheap, it was like $500, but no one else rented it. It was winter. So I had this whole castle to myself and I put on that song by Florid, like, welcome to my house. And I was dancing through the house and there was this big mirror and I came down the staircase and there's this big mirror and I'm dancing to welcome to my house. And I was like, wow, I am me and I can do whatever I want. And I'm in Albania and I'm just starting this whole new life. So there was no one there to watch me or tell me what to do or make me feel bad for not being religious. So I felt really free.

What was the scariest part of walking away from the Church?

I think the scariest part of leaving the church was that I was ruining my life. There was this feeling that this is the way you're supposed to live life, and if you don't, you're messing up your future. You can't fix it. If I drank alcohol for the first time, I can never go back to have never having had alcohol. If I had sex outside of marriage, I can never go back to not having had sex outside of marriage. So I was worried no one would marry me. That was in my religion, that my family wouldn't accept me, that I would lose all my friends and community. Was it true? No. After I got married when I was 22 and in my religion, and we got divorced when I was 25, and I thought nobody would want to date me. No one would date a divorced Mormon girl. I was wrong. Everybody wanted to date me. Okay. They still want to date you. You're still the same person. I think a lot of times just so scared. And then when I ended up leaving the religion, I was scared of men. I was like, oh my God, normal non-religious men are scary and they're going to try to have sex with me and it is going to be horrifying. And they were very respectful actually, because people mirror your energy. So my family was not happy I left the church. And to this day, my mom passively, aggressively texts me about it, but she doesn't abandon me, right? Because she grew up like that. And religion is so important to her, and I'm understanding of that. And I respect that she didn't just cut me off, but honestly, if she cut me off, cut me off. Because I need to live my own life and I'm not going to live your life forever so that you're happy. I need to live my life so that I'm happy. And if you want to cut me off, that's your choice. So no, everything's great.

Has your sense of self changed since leaving the Church?

Did / do you experience feelings of anger toward your past and how do you deal with them?